Withdrawing from Pornography

Well, this vice of mine is not going to recede on the first attempt.  I had a lapse yesterday and all of the feelings that come with it.  I was sad, angry, stressed, and on and on.  I just returned to the easiest thing I knew.  Did I really make that decision?  I think it has turned into an unconscious decision.  It is an automatic response to uncomfortability.

OK.  What is done is done, water under the bridge.  There is no use trying to understand why, where, or how.  What I know is that there are certain times when I am more vulnerable.  These are the times when I should raise my guard and more importantly my compassion.  Just to be ok as who I am, without the pornography.  What would it hurt to live without it for 2 weeks?  I am willing to find out.

I am recommitting myself to this.  I think the fact that I went back into the safer route happened for a reason.  I was thinking about it yesterday.  I was sad and upset at what happened, but then I thought that this can help me reach out to others in need.  If I kicked this habit on the first go, not many people could relate to that.  I am in an internal struggle, there is no doubt about it.  The greater the struggle, the greater the growth.

Today is a new day and therefore I have a new opportunity!!!